Understanding Big Feelings

As the parent of two young kids and the creator of Moody Pootie, I spend a lot of time thinking about feelings—both theirs and mine. Helping kids understand their emotions is one of the key themes of Moody Pootie, but here’s the thing: helping them starts with better understanding our own emotions.

Broad Feelings vs. Specific Emotions

Most of us are taught the broad categories of emotions—happy, sad, mad—but feelings are so much more nuanced than that. Think about “mad,” for example. Are you frustrated? Annoyed? Hurt? When we can pinpoint the specific emotion we’re feeling, it’s so much easier to figure out what we need to feel better.

The same goes for kids. Teaching them to dive deeper into their feelings not only helps them navigate tough moments, but it also gives them tools they can carry into adulthood.

The Emotion Wheel: A Game-Changer for Big Feelings

One of my favorite tools for this is the Emotion Wheel by Abby Vanmuijen, which breaks emotions down into broader categories and then narrows them into more specific terms. There’s even a children’s version! I’ll include a visual below because, honestly, it’s been a lifesaver in my house.

For example, instead of simply saying “Pootie is mad because she can’t have ice cream,” we can use the wheel to explore the feeling further:

• Is she frustrated because she can’t get what she wants?

• Embarrassed because she cried in public?

• Disappointed because she was excited for the treat?

Pinpointing the exact feeling helps us validate it—and address it effectively.

My Own Feelings (Spoiler: There Are a Lot)

Lately, I’ve been cycling through my own kaleidoscope of emotions. I feel ambitious as I launch Little Parker Books, overwhelmed as I juggle life with two kids under two, and grateful for the chance to create something meaningful. But when so many feelings pull me in different directions, it’s easy to feel out of balance.

What’s helped? Taking a moment to name each feeling—and then figuring out what I need to bring things back into harmony. It’s not always easy, but it’s incredibly freeing.

Using the Emotion Wheel With Kids

Here’s how you can use the Emotion Wheel to help your kids (and yourself!) navigate big feelings:

1. Identify the Category: Start with the broad feeling, like “happy” or “sad.”

2. Get Specific: Use the wheel to narrow it down. Are they proud? Lonely? Confused?

3. Validate the Feeling: Let them know it’s okay to feel that way.

4. Problem-Solve Together: Once you know what they’re feeling, it’s easier to help them cope.
   

In Moody Pootie, we see how identifying feelings and practicing calming strategies can transform a tough moment into a meaningful connection. The Emotion Wheel is one of the tools I hope can bring that same transformation to your family.

Let’s Talk About Feelings

Big feelings are a part of life for all of us—kids and adults alike. By taking the time to better understand our emotions, we can help our children do the same. Whether it’s through a book, a wheel, or just a heartfelt chat, every step we take to foster emotional growth is a step toward a happier, healthier family.

Check out the children’s Emotion Wheel below, and let me know in the comments: How do you talk about feelings with your kids?

Love, Rachel